Welcome to the Sisterhood of Motherhood

I know many of you check in with Hereford Zone Mom on a daily basis to see the events and parenting information posted. Many people assume that because I have a family resource page that I must love every part of motherhood, but I have a confession to make. During the first nine months of my son's life, I had trouble bonding with him. Don't get me wrong, I loved my baby boy and took excellent care of him, but he had colic and the constant crying and lack of sleep made being a happy-go-lucky mom impossible. Most days I was lucky if I showered and changed out of my baby spit soaked pajamas. My hair was almost always up in a clip, and my makeup bag sat unused for nearly a year. If you are a seasoned HZM reader then you know from a previous post that my pregnancy did not go as planned. I was on bed rest for six months and had to have a C-section, so any thoughts of prenatal yoga and aqua aerobics for pregnant mommas went out the window. Have you noticed that the Pampers and Hallmark commercials feature glowing moms with happy or napping babies? While those commercials pull at our heartstrings the truth is motherhood isn't all rose colored glasses. Admitting that doesn't make us bad mothers. Personally I think if more mothers spoke the truth about the good, the bad, and the ugly, new moms everywhere would be able to breathe a sigh of relief. The fact is that motherhood brings with it enormous challenges. For most it means trying to do everything you did before but now you are entirely responsible for a life other than your own. The "it takes a village to raise a child" motto has grown non existent as families move away for employment and as neighbors don't always take the time to stop and get to know one another. For many new moms, our circle of friends changes. Our single friends or those that chose not to have children cannot relate to our sacrifices, struggles, and daily grind that we're faced with. Some of us occasionally turn green at their carefree, get-up-and-go, sleep in til noon lifestyle. Let's face it, you never knew the meaning of being tired until you brought your newborn home. In addition, staying at home with a newborn can get lonely. Moms start feeling pressured to find mommy friends to occupy our time because any adult interaction is better than the routine of diaper change, feed, burp, nap, repeat. Plus, if you're lucky enough to find a good bunch of mommy friends, they will tell you that they too had no idea how hard this motherhood thing was going to be. You compare war wounds ---sleepless nights, missed naps, diaper blow outs, projectile vomiting. Hey, I didn't say this post was going to be pretty. This post isn't meant to scare or offend. I wanted to write this piece to let all of the new moms out there know that no matter how many books you've read, no matter how many people give you unsolicited advice, trust your gut. In those moments where you feel like it's all too much just say to yourself, "This too shall pass." Those sleepless nights, those 3 week long colds, those teething tantrums, they will be a distant memory. I promise. Don't be afraid to ask for help ---a meal, time to nap, help cleaning, time for yourself, etc. Ladies, supermom is a myth! Get her out of your head because as long as you have her there, you will always feel inadequate. We are all just trying to do the best we can with the resources we have. That special baby was given to you and only you know what is truly best for them. Before you know it, your baby won't need diaper changes. They won't need your constant attention. You will start to get out more. You will actually have a moment to shower and get dressed in regular clothes. You will know that you are strong. You are amazing, and even though you may not be feeling it right now, you are a great mom. Until you get to that place, try to take pleasure in the little things like that newborn smell, their coo, their tiny hand wrapped around your finger. I know how you feel. I know you can do this. Oh and by the way, welcome to the sisterhood of motherhood. ~HZM